Finally!
by happytobeamom
Summary: Alexis and Sam 4 years after learning they are mother/daughter still has not worked out their issues, I feel as though there was never a payoff for waiting as long as we have so I thought I'd try and see if I could fix one that worked.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic so I hope its okay, please let me know what u think. I do not own any of the characters, I hope its okay!

CHAPTER 1

Alexis Davis Journal

I was watching Kristina and Molly this morning down by the lake and found myself once again amazed with my daughters' strength. Over the last six months our family has been turned upside down once again, Kristina has been hospitalized twice at the hands of her boyfriend Kiefer. To make matters worse while I was rushing my daughter to the hospital, I ran him down; his death had been extremely hard on Kristina even though he hurt her time and time again. Finally she is beginning to act more herself, not jumping every time she hears a noise, not flinching whenever someone touches her.

I've often heard that people close to death say that their lives flashed before their eyes, but I think its not just death but any traumatic event in your life or the lives of the people you love the most. I close my eyes and I see my girls as babies and how much we have lived through. I see their births as though it were yesterday, none of them were easy but they were all worth the pain.

Kristina was born early and remained in the hospital for months; I was so scared I was going to lose her. I see her a few years later fighting for her life yet again, this time having been diagnosed with leukemia, but once again she came though with the help of my granddaughter who was not as lucky, who was lost to us before we got a chance to meet. Later when she was kidnapped, I felt so hopeless and in some ways the leukemia was easier to deal with, at least we knew what we were fighting, we had no idea who had done this or what their intentions were. The thoughts that went through my mind almost drove me to insanity.

My sweet Molly, she was such an amazing baby, she hardly ever cried. She was born during a train wreck, oh I was so scared, I thought that we would both die and I would have gladly given my life if it would've ensured her survival. Ric was so remarkable during it all; I thought we would watch her grow up together, boy was I wrong about that. He took my baby from me while I had cancer not to mention all the other horrible things he did to me and my family. As always though my girls and I came through it together, stronger somehow.

Strong, independent, stubborn, a survivor, those are the words that come to mind when I think of my first born, Sam. Her birth was the easiest but also the hardest of the three angels I have the honor of calling my children. Her delivery was easy, she was so full of life and so ready to join the world, the same world that has been so cruel to her. I found out I was pregnant with her when I was sixteen, I was overcome with fear but I fell in love the moment I felt her kick. Once my father found out he shipped me off to deliver, the moment I held my sweet girl in my arms I knew that I would love her forever, and then they came for her. My baby was taken from me, ripped out of my arms, I can still hear her crying, she was put up for adoption and that was the last I saw of her for 19 years but I never forgot that face. It saddens me that that is the only memory I have of her childhood, the pain is still so fresh after all these years. When she came back to me, I almost lost her the very day I found out who she was, now ten years later I feel as though I'm losing her again, she is pulling away from me and I can't let that happen, I can't bear going though that loss all over. I've finally managed to get her to meet me for drinks and I plan on finding out what exactly is wrong with my daughter.

CHAPTER 2

"Oh hey guys." Alexis said when she saw Jax and Carly sitting in the bar of the Metro Court.

"Hey Alexis, what's up?" Jax asked hugging his ex-wife and current best friend.

"I'm meeting Sam for a drink. How's Micheal doing Carly?"

"He's adjusting, he's changed, I can't put my finger on it but he's happy to be out."

"Prison changes people, it'll take him some time but he'll figure it out. He's been though a lot, all of our kids have but they always manage to fight their way through. Speaking of which, have you spoken to Sam lately?"

"I called her today to see if she wanted to get together but she declined, said she was busy."

"Yeah it took me two weeks to talk her into meeting me for drinks. I gotta be honest with you; I'm really worried about her."

"Well the love of her life is still in prison, that can't be easy."

"I'm sure you're right Carly but there's something else, call it mother's intuition but she's distant, I'm scared that she's pulling away from me. I thought we had worked out all the stuff in our past and were beginning to connect."

"Alexis far be it for you to listen to me but I'm not sure you've worked through anything…," holding up her hand she stopped Alexis' protest, " just listen to me this is something I know a little about, I have been in Sam's shoes. There's a lot of pain when it comes to you two, a lot has been done, a lot more said, things that are hard to just take back with a simple I'm sorry. Have you two ever actually talked about anything? I know you've talked but about any of your issues, cause until you deal with them they're always gonna be there holding you back. Don't you see Alexis, Sam is still insecure in your relationship and as her defense mechanism she's pulling away from you before you can leave her again."

Tears had welled in Alexis eyes, "I'm not going anywhere Carly, my girls are my life."

"I'm not the one you need to convince, oh and Alexis, Sam knows how you feel about Kristina and Molly, she's just not sure where she fits into it all."

"Sam knows I love her." As she says this a memory hits her like a ton of bricks, Sam says, "You are sorry that I am your daughter." Her eyes fill with tears, "no!" She turns to find Sam standing in the door way, she meets her daughters eyes and all she sees is pain.

"Sam hey come on over," Carly said when she realized that Alexis was frozen.

"Hey guys, thanks but Alexis I need to talk to you. Hey you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm sorry I was thinking about something Carly was saying. Come on let's go sit down."

"Listen I can't stay, something has come up."

"Can't you just stay for a little while Sam, I really wanted to talk to you about the girls? They miss you; they would love to see you."

"I'll stop by tomorrow and see them, is that it I really need to be going."

"No I wanted to talk to you about Kristina."

"Of course you did!" Sam said with sarcasim.

"Sam are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, what did you want to say about Krissy, she has been through hell, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Actually she seems to be doing better, I think all we can do is to reassure her that we love her and that we'll….."

Sam's mind had wandered to a different time….

"I don't want you poisoning your sisters' mind with your pathetic, degraded attitude."

"I don't care where you go. You want to go with Jason, go with Jason. You go wherever you want, but you get the hell out of my house!"

"Sam, Sam, hey are you okay?"

"Huh, what"

"Where were you just now?"

"Nowhere, look I really have to go, tell the girls I'll see them tomorrow."

"Sam wait, would you please talk to me?"

"Yeah because that always works out really well for us. I'll call you later. Gotta go bye."

She ran out the door leaving her mother staring after her.

CHAPTER 3

Alexis Davis Journal

Is it possible that Carly is right? Is Sam scared that I'm going to leave her, that I don't love her as much as I love her sisters?

Sam and I have never had an easy relationship, I thought we were making progress but truthfully how could we? There are still so many walls between us, so much that's left unsaid, so much that I still don't know about my eldest daughter. There is so much pain, so much hurt, so many accusations and so many questions left unanswered on both our parts, yet we would rather walk through fire than have an open and honest conversation. I guess we are more alike than either of us would admit but as scared as she is of me leaving her, I am just as scared that I'm going to lose her again and I cannot bear to go through that again.

By not saying anything I am being unfair to my daughter and denying us the opportunity to build a relationship that we can both be comfortable with. I am giving my daughter permission to walk out of my life and that is not an option that I want to think about much less encourage. I have two choices, I can either do nothing and lose my daughter or I can make her talk to me and risk losing my daughter, hell you gotta love life choices. If option number two is the only possible way to help Sam then it's a chance I'll have to take but not here where the other girls are, they don't need anything else to worry about.

CHAPTER 4

"Hello my babies." Alexis said as she came though the door of the lake house.

"Hey mom, what are you doing home so early?" Kristina asked as Molly came into the living room.

"Oh hey mom."

"Look girls come here a minute I need to talk to you both before Sam gets here."

"What did she do this time?" Molly asked.

"She didn't do anything, why do you automatically think she did something wrong?"

"Because with you she usually has." Kristina answered since Molly looked uncomfortable with the question.

"I'm worried about your sister and there's something I want to do for her but I'm going to need your help."

"Okay what can we do?"

"Well you know Sam and I only found each other a few years ago and there's still a lot that we need to talk about, a lot we need to figure out about our relationship but we never seem to make the time for it."

"So you want us to cut out of here before she gets here?" Molly asked.

"No I want to take Sam somewhere, away from outside interferences where it's just the two of us."

"You mean somewhere she can't run away from."

"Okay Molly, yes you're right."

"How are you going to talk her into that?"

"Well, I have a plan, I'm going to guilt her into it but I need you guys to promise not to say anything to her about this."

"Sure mom, but why now, no offense but it's been four years."

"Because she's in bad shape and I think maybe part of the problem is me, I think that we still have so many unresolved issues between us. I will not lose my daughter, not again and if I have to basically hold her hostage to make her talk to me then so be it. Now I'm not comfortable leaving you guys alone with all that's happened but I have to do this for your sister, I hope you both understand."

"Yeah mom, don't worry about us, we'll be fine."

"I know you will because you'll be staying with Jax and Carly."

"We are old enough to stay by ourselves."

"I'm perfectly aware of how old you both are, I'm also aware of everything that's happened and I can't leave you here alone. I'll feel better if I know you're okay, it'll make it easier for me to concentrate on your sister if I don't have to worry about you guys."

"Talk about guilt! Fine we'll stay, we'll stay. How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure, I took a week off from work, but I'll stay as long as it takes. I want Sam to know that I'm as committed to her as I am to you two."

"Wow mom I'm impressed."

"Why Kristina?"

"Well its just you're, well you're so tough on her, you act like nothing she does is good enough for you. She has to work twice as hard as Molly or I do for your approval."

"Now I know I need to work on my relationship with my oldest daughter."

Knock knock. "Hey guys, am I interrupting?" Sam said from the door.

"Never, come on in." Alexis said as fear gripped her heart.

"You're home early, is something wrong?"

"No honey, I just wanted to spend some time with my girls."

"Oh okay, well I can't stay long anyway."

"Sam sweetie, you're one of my girls, I was hoping to spend some time with all my girls, please stay for a little while."

"Yeah Sam, please stay," Molly said, "Maybe we can make some cookies.

"Okay for a little while."

"Good, we don't see you often enough."

"I'm here now mom."

"Molly and I are going to get everything ready to make cookies, we'll call you when we get ready."

"Sam, come over here I want to talk to you about something."

"Alexis, I'm not really in the mood for a mother/daughter powwow if that's alright with you."

"Good because that's not what I had in mind."

"Oh okay what is it then?"

"I need your help with something."

"What can I do for you?"

"Something has come up with one of the Cassadine properties and I have to drive out to check it out and I was hoping you could…"

"Keep an eye on the girls, of course I will, I love spending time with them."

"No Sam that's not it, I was hoping you would go with me."

"I've got a lot going on here, I don't think I can get away for even a few hours, sorry."

"Before you say no, just hear me out, it's a long trip and I hate to drive that far by myself and occasionally I still get a little tired so I was hoping you would help me drive. Surely you wouldn't send your mother off by herself would you? Please?"

"Fine, I'll go."

"Thanks Sam, I'll pick you up in the morning or you know you could spend the rest of the day with us and stay the night."

"That's probably not a good idea."

"Come on Sam, I promise to play nice, I won't ask any personal questions, unless of course you want me to." Sam lowered her head and stared at the floor.

"No, I'm sorry Sam I just haven't had all my girls together lately and Kristina could probably use a distraction."

"Of course she could, why is it always….."

"What Sam, why is it always what?"

"Nothing, I'll stay, anything to help Krissy."

"Okay, let's go make some cookies."

"Go ahead; I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay but hurry, the natives will grow restless."

"Yeah."

CHAPTER 5

"Good morning my loves." Alexis beamed as she saw her three girls huddled together at the table.

"Morning mom." The girls said in unison, as Alexis went around the room kissing them all on the forehead.

"Kristina, Molly can I see you two for a minute?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Are you both packed?"

"Good, Jax will be here to pick you up after we leave. I'll call when I get a chance but unless it's an emergency please wait for me to call you. I love both of you so much, now get over here and give me a hug."

"We love you too mom, now go take care of Sam."

"Sam, are you ready?" Alexis asked as she walked through the door, but Sam was sitting on the couch staring at an invisible spot on the floor and she looked completely lost. Alexis wanted nothing more than to take her daughter in her arms, and make her feel safe and loved. She thought back to the day that she first found out Sam was her daughter and the memory came flooding back. "I want to say the magic words to you right now that's going to make this all better for you, but I don't know what they are. All I can tell you is that I am here, and I'm not going anywhere this time." Shaking herself back to reality Alexis sat quietly on the couch beside Sam who never looked up.

"Hey Sam, are you ready to go?"

"Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts, yeah let's get on the road. See you later girls."

"Love you both," Alexis said and then whispered, "Wish me luck."

"Good luck mom, you're gonna need it." Kristina replied.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate you coming with me means to me."

"Don't mention it, it's not a big deal, you're my mother and you needed help."

"I hope you know that that goes both ways Sam, I'm really glad we have some time to ourselves though…."

"Look Alexis, I'm here, I promised you I would go with you but can we not do this right now?"

"Point taken, I'm just going to say one more thing and then I'll shut up, you look tired, we have several hours ahead of us before we get there so why don't you use this down time to close your eyes and get some rest. I promise I'll wake you up if I get tired and want you to take over."

"I'm not sleepy, and I'm not a two year old that you can tell to take a nap, you missed that chance."

"Ouch! Look Sam I wasn't trying to tell you what to do I was making an observation, a suggestion but you do as you please. As you pointed out you are not two years old, and yes I did miss my chance, thank you for the reminder, not that I needed it but I am still your mother and I will always worry when I see that something is bothering my daughter."

"You're right, I'm sorry let's just forget it, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. And you know what I think maybe I do need some rest, so I'm just gonna close my eyes and you let me know when you want me to take over."

"Whatever you want my dear, sweet dreams."

CHAPTER 6

Dream sequence thanks to ABC and General Hospital

"I'm done Sam. I'm done fighting for you. I am done trying to save you, and the interesting thing is, is that you never asked me to, and it's evident that you don't want me to, so you win. I'm done. You want to spend the rest of your life with Jason, being his plaything, being his appendage, taking orders from him and getting shot at, that is entirely up to you. I'm not going to do anything to stop you because it is clear to me that you have absolutely no self-respect. You have no identity of your own, so being with Jason is really your only option, isn't it? If I were you, I wouldn't go to school, I wouldn't go to college. I wouldn't go to law school. Why don't you just let Jason take care of you for the rest of your life because that way you won't have to think? Wouldn't that be great? Get out! Get out of my house- I don't want you poisoning your sisters' minds with your pathetic, degraded attitude!"

Alexis wasn't sure what her daughter was dreaming about but she was sure it was a nightmare and thought about it waking her up more than once but quickly changed her mind when Sam started mumbling in her sleep. "I'm sorry baby; I really need to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, even if I have to eavesdrop on your nightmares."

"You promised mommy, you promised! You said we'd work through our problems, you said you'd never leave me again! Please don't make me leave, you said this was my home and I was always welcome. I'll try harder, I won't poison my sisters, I promise."

Tears were streaming down Alexis face as she listened to her daughter beg her not make her leave the home that she had bought just so Sam would have a place to call home. Alexis knew exactly what Sam was dreaming of and it was not one of her prouder moments but as she pulled into the driveway she reached over and wiped the tears that had started falling down Sam's face.

"I promise I'm going to make this right, I know I've been making empty promises but that changes right now. Sam, baby, wake up, we're here, come on Sam."

"Why didn't you wake me up so I could take over for you, I'm sure you must be tired."

"No, I'm fine and I'm sorry but you needed the rest, so I choose to let you sleep."

"Thanks, so where are we?"

"Hang on just a minute, I think that's the people I'm suppose to be meeting, here's the key, why don't you go on inside and I'll be in in just a minute, this shouldn't take long."

"Okay, I could really use a minute to freshen up anyways. I didn't know the Cassadines' had this cabin out here in the middle of no where."

"Yeah Nikolas bought it so we could have somewhere to go when we needed a break from life, I haven't been here in ages though. Go on sweetie, I'll be there as soon as I finish up here and I'll give you a tour."

"I'd like that."

Alexis found Sam looking out the picture window in the small dining room, "gorgeous isn't it?"

"Alexis I didn't see you there, the view is breathtaking. Are you finished?"

"Yes, they're gone, listen Sam before we take that tour I promised I've got to confess, I lied."

"Lied, about what?"

"The reason for this trip, I had to have a reason to make you come and I knew if I told you the truth, then well I knew you wouldn't come."

"Alexis what are you talking about?"

"Come over here a minute and sit by mom," she said as she sat on the couch as nervous as she'd ever been in her whole life, "I want to ask you to please listen before you judge, and please try not to get mad."

"Quit rambling and just spit it out."

"I've noticed lately that you've been quite upset and avoiding me, and I have come to realize that I have failed you as a mother in so many ways and so many times, and for that I am truly sorry. The very first day that you came back into my life I promised you that I would never leave you again, I broke that promise time and time again. On the same day I told you we had a lot to talk about and that we would, that never happened either, that one promise I made so many times and each time I or we pushed it aside and the talking never happened. Well today we are going to make time, we are going to have the talk that we should have had four years ago, if we had of then maybe none of the stuff that followed would have happened."

"So let me get this straight, we just drove what five hours just so you could get me alone to tell me that we needed to talk, couldn't you have done that at home?"

"I couldn't get you to sit for five minutes at home, hell I couldn't get you to sit down for a drink."

"I suppose you think we'll fix everything in the five hours it'll take for us to get home."

"No Sam, that's not what I think, we have to much between us, there are so many questions I'm sure you have, I have plenty of my own, there are so many lies and the hurt that we've been pushing aside is going to destroy our relationship completely one day, the pain in your eyes is almost unbearable. I want us to talk through our issues, hell scream if we feel like it, we're in the middle of nowhere, who's going to hear us? I think it's going to take a lot longer than five hours and I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere until I make you believe me when I tell you I love you and nothing you can do will make me leave you! Baby, I'm never leaving you, not ever again!"

"Wait a minute, back up a minute, what did you mean when you said you're not going anywhere until I believe you?"

"Well my love, it's quite simple, this is going to be our home for a while."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"We're going to spend some quality time together, until we figure out how to fix us, think of it as your first vacation with your mother."

"No Alexis no, you cannot control everything, you can't make me talk to you about anything."

"You're right about that Sam, but I can promise you that whenever you get ready to talk, I'll be right here waiting because I'M… NOT.. GOING ..ANYWHERE!"

"Fine I'll go then, can I please have the car keys? No that's okay I know how to hotwire."

Alexis sat back on the couch and crossed her arms waiting for the next explosion, and she didn't have to wait long as Sam slammed through the door.

"Where is the car?"

"Those men I was talking to, they picked the car up and will only return it when I call them, and sorry Sam looks like you're stuck with mom."

"That's okay, I'll call someone to come and get me."

"Good luck with that since I've already talked to everyone you might contact and explained that I was taking you on a mother/daughter outing and they shouldn't expect to hear from you for at least a week, maybe longer. Oh yeah and while you were sleeping I confiscated your cell phone as well as had all the house phones removed."

"And just what am I suppose to wear?"

"I had our clothes sent down this morning, along with having the kitchen stocked just in case you were worried we'd starve next."

"What about the girls, who's watching them?"

"The girls are fine, they are with Jax and Carly but this is not about the girls, this is about you and me. I want you know know that I love you and you have my undivided attention for as long as you may need or want it."

"Well good we can go now because I don't need it and I sure as hell don't want it, so can we go?"

"Nope not happening."

"Where is my room, I'm going to bed."

"Upstairs right beside mine, you can't miss it, there's only two of them. Goodnight Sam, I love you."

CHAPTER 7

Alexis Davis Journal

Well this day has been interesting, she took it better than I thought, maybe deep down she wants this as much as I do. I half expected her to try and walk back to Port Charles, thank God I was wrong.

At least today wasn't a complete waste, even though Sam shut down and stormed to bed, I now know that my daughter has unresolved issues with me, but if I'm being honest I must admit that I have some as well. Until we work through these there's really no hope for us, and losing my daughter is not an option, I can't bear the thought of losing her again. I am her mother and I have loved her her whole life but with us love isn't enough, there are too many things standing in our way for us to have a real mother/daughter relationship and it's my job to fix it. I promised myself that if I ever got a second chance with her then I would be the best mother possible, instead I was so scared of losing her that all I've done is made empty promises and pushed her further away. This is unacceptable and I intend on doing everything in my power to make it right, no matter how long it takes.

I better get a good nights sleep tonight, tomorrow will be our first full day here and I'm sure it's bound to be a doozy.

"What? Who's there?" Something woke Alexis with a start; she looked at the clock and saw that it was 2:35 in the morning. Lying quietly she listened to see if maybe she had been having a dream or hear what had woken her up. There it was again, it sounded like someone crying, and then it hit her it had to be Sam. Jumping out of bed she ran through her daughter's door, but she was not in her bed.

"No please don't, I promise I'll be good, I don't like it in there, it's dark. I didn't mean it, I won't do it again."

Alexis followed the meek voice and saw her daughter curled into a ball in the corner of the room, asleep and trapped in a nightmare. Crossing the room, she dropped to her knees beside the terrified girl.

"Sam, wake up, Samantha listen to me love, let mom help you. You have to wake up baby, I'm right here and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again I promise you. Come on baby wake up."

Sam's eyes flew opened, darting around the room and then back to Alexis.

"Come on now, let momma help you up."

"Alexis what are you doing, why am I on the floor?"

"You were having a bad dream baby, come on let me help you."

She was visibly shaken and unsteady on her feet so she allowed Alexis to help her back to her bed, even lying down with no protest while her mother pulled the blanket back over her still shaking body.

"Its okay baby, you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't remember what it was about."

"Okay, it's okay, I want you to close your eyes and go back to sleep. I'm right here and I'm going to sit right here until you're okay." She pushed a strand of hair behind Sam's ear.

"Momma why? Why did you give me away? Why didn't you love me enough to fight for me?"

Tears were streaming down Alexis face as she prepared to answer the single hardest question she'd ever been asked in her life.

"Oh baby….," looking down at her daughter she realized that Sam had already fallen asleep and had asked that while unconscious. "If only we could talk that open while we are awake, maybe my daughter wouldn't be hurting so bad, maybe she would know that I love her."

She couldn't leave her, couldn't tear herself away from her first born, the one she had hurt so badly, so she slid in beside her, put her arms around her daughter and held her as if she were a little girl. There were no other incidents and Alexis asked herself if maybe, just maybe it was because for the first time in her life Sam had had her mother's arms around her as she slept.

"Tomorrow baby, tomorrow I promise I will answer you."

CHAPTER 8

"Mom?" Sam asked as she opened her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm gonna try this again, I hope everyone likes it. Thanks to everyone that wrote a review, please let me know if I'm wrong on facts because I only started watching GH when the abuse s/l started and I've had to go back and catch-up so I'm sure there's a lot that I've missed!**

**Chapter 8**

"**Mom?" Sam said waking up, realizing that she was wrapped in her mother's arms.**

"**Huh, oh hey baby, good morning." Alexis was still shaken from the questions that her daughter had asked only a few hours ago but for now she pushed it from her mind so she could concentrate on Sam. **

"**You feeling alright this morning sweetie?"**

"**Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" **

"**You don't remember what happened?"**

"**No what happened?" Sam asked with a panicked look on her face.**

"**I woke up, heard you crying, when I came in I found you curled in a corner, having one hell of a nightmare, I finally talked you back to bed.**

"**I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."**

"**Honey, it's okay."**

"**But why…..never mind."**

**"No Sam, please finish."**

**"Why are you still here?"**

**"I couldn't leave you, you were so scared."**

**"Thank you for that Alexis, but I'm okay now." Looking around uncomfortably Sam said,"I really need to take a shower."**

**"No Sam, you're not okay, I think we need to talk about it."**

**"Relax, I had a nightmare, can you just please let it go?" Sam was starring at the floor.**

**"If that's what you want I'll drop it, for now," she said taking her daughter by the chin and gently forcing her to look her in the eyes, "but Samantha, we will talk about this, that is a promise. Go take your shower, and I'll meet you downstairs."**

**"Yeah sure, whatever!"**

**"After breakfast, I thought we'd go for a walk around the lake, how's that sound?"**

**"No thanks, you go."**

**"The fresh air would do you good."**

**"Dammit Alexis, can't you just leave me alone?"**

**"No Sam, I can't, I won't so you might as well get over it."**

**"Please just LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sam screamed.**

**Grabbing her daughter by the arm and forcing her to turn around Alexis said, " Not going to happen little girl, you might as well get use to it. I LOVE YOU, get it through that thick skull of yours, I'm not going anywhere! You can push, hell you can shove but baby, momma is here to stay!" **

**"Suit yourself, I'll go." Sam said storming out the door.**

**"Oh no, not this time," Alexis said following her daughter. "Stop right there Samantha."**

**"Look Alexis.."**

**"I'm your mother dammit, stop calling me Alexis, you started calling me mom, you don't just get to go back and change it whenever you feel like it."**

**Sam could see the hurt in her mother's eyes but she was mad and didn't care so she continued. "Yeah well, you gave up that name when you gave me up and I'm sorry that I ever started calling you that, I thought it would help us connect but I was wrong."**

**Tears formed in Alexis eyes and Sam turned so she wouldn't run to her mother, throw her arms around her and beg for forgiveness. **

**"I'm still here, what else you got?" As much as it hurt to hear and even if it were true, she realized that her daughter was trying to push her away and she wouldn't allow that to happen. "Do you remember what you asked me last night Sam?"**

**"What are you talking about ALEXIS?" Sam said putting emphasis on her mothers name.**

**"You asked why I gave you away, why I didn't love you enough to fight for you? "**

**"Look, I REALLY do not feel like this right now."**

**"This is not open up for discussion, you asked and I don't care if you were asleep, I am going to answer your questions. However, I'm going to go sit by the lake for a little while first, and calm down, I suggest you do so as well." **

**Alexis walked over to her daughter, pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forhead. Reaching out she put something in Sam's hand and turned and walked toward the door, grabbing a book, she looked one more time at her daughter.**

**"I love you Sam, I'll be back in a little while."**


	3. Chapter 3

I know Sam was cruel but I felt it necessary to show that she still has some pent up emotions over mom giving her away even though she knows it was not Alexis' fault. Plus she was trying to hurt her mother, I have a feeling it's going to be a rollercoaster for a few days.

CHAPTER 9

Sam crossed over and sat on the sofa overlooking the lake, she could see her mother sitting there starring out at the water, before finally looking down in her hands to see what her mother had put in them. Sam held two envelopes, she opened the first one and gasped as she saw what it was, leaning against the couch for support she began to read.

_**My darling daughter, May 12, 1980**_

_**I write this in hopes that one day we are reunited and that you will give me this chance to tell you how much you mean to me. I had been alone for so long, that with that first kick my whole world changed. I knew that I was no longer alone and for the first time in my life, I knew what love was. For nine months I carried you inside me, we grew together, our bond was so strong that when you were born I felt so empty I missed the closeness that we had shared. You were so ready, you came into this world screaming, I believe that you wanted to let everyone know that you had finally arrived, but when the nurse put you in my arms, you immediately quieted. You looked up at me with those big, beautiful eyes of yours and I knew at that moment I would love you forever, that I would do anything to protect you no matter the consequences to me. In those few private minutes I did the hardest thing I ever had to do, I said good-bye to you, I held you against my chest and I begged you as I am now for you to please forgive me. **_

_**I knew that you would be in danger as long as you were with me, when my Uncle Mikko's found out that I was expecting you he sent me off to make it all go away, to make you go away. I was to give you away and go back to my life, no one the wiser except for us. To keep you safe, I knew I had no choice but you have to know that if there were another way I would have never let you go. I will keep you in my heart forever and my hope for you little one is that you find a family that will love you as much as I do, that they will know how special you are. I pray that you are safe and that you never feel alone or unloved as I have most of my life. I pray that no matter where you are that you will feel my love for you as strongly as you felt it when I carried you close to my heart. Until we meet again my darling daughter, I love you.**_

_**Mom**_

Sam held the letter in her hands, wiping tears from her face as they spilled from her eyes. Looking out the window, she saw the woman that she had so many hurtful things to only a little while ago and she desperately wanted to put her arms around her mother and tell her she was sorry but she couldn't not yet. She still had one more letter to go, she just wasn't sure she could open it, not sure that her heart could take it but she knew for her mother's sake as well as her own she had to see this through.

_**Samantha, May 9, 2006**_

_**Only hours ago did I find out that you were the daughter I gave away years ago, and as Jason told me I thought it was a cruel, sick joke and then it all fell in place but even as I sat at your bedside talking to you still a part of me just couldn't accept it. Then you woke up, turned to me, you looked at me with those same beautiful eyes from 19 years earlier and you called me mom, that's when it became real. All those feelings I had for you as a baby, they came rushing back and my heart felt as though it were being ripped from my chest when the doctor told me that you were dying, I can not accept that. I left you all those years ago and now when I find you, you're leaving me, it's just not fair. There are so many things I want to say to you, so much for me to make up for, I pray that I get the chance to make things right. It seems that the only times that we're together as mother and daughter, is to say good-bye. Well Samantha, I refuse I will not say good-bye to you again, you will wake up, and I pray that you will give me a chance to be the mother that you deserve. I know that we have a lot of issues, that you hate me and I've not always been your biggest fan but if you will only wake up, you will see how much I want to be your mother, that I am willing to do whatever it takes for you to just give me a chance. **_

_**I know that you're life has been hard, baby I wanted so much for you to find a family that would give you all the things I couldn't. I am so sorry for the things that you've had to endure, it's all my fault and I so want to make up for that. If I had only been a stronger person, you would not be lying in this hospital bed now dying from a bullet wound, I should have kept you safe. I will never forgive myself for allowing this to happen, I gave you away to protect you, what a fine job I did at that. I am sorry that I failed you my sweet baby, I never meant for it to be like this. **_

_**Know that I love you, and I pray once again the prayer that I prayed years ago, please feel my love for you as strongly as you felt it when I carried you close to my heart. **_

_**I love you,**_

_**Mom**_

Sam put the letter down, sat back on the couch and let the tears flow freely, she would talk to her mother, would beg her forgiveness for being so cold and hateful, she only hoped that it wasn't to late, that she hadn't pushed her to far. Every feeling in her body wanted to rush to her mother but she would honor her request and give her time to calm down first, so she sat on the couch to await her mother's return.


	4. Chapter 4

I had to make up part us this since I have no idea what Sam's life was like, some is pretty dark and I have her still with her adoptive mother as well but I hope I didn't mess up to bad. I hope everyone is really enjoying this, I'm on vacation this week so I'm hoping I can add more as the week progresses. Let me know if you like it, if you got any pointers or heck even if you don't like it, all comments are welcome. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 10

_**Alexis Davis journal,**_

_**Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt undoubtly never gave their daughter to a couple of pychos' before only to try to be a mother to her years later. That hurt so damn much, even though I know that's exactly what she was trying to do, I suspect that there's still a part of her that sees me as the mother that abandoned her, left her all alone and defensless when her world crashed down around her. What my daughter doesn't know is that I still blame myself as well, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive myself. When I think back to all that she's gone through none of my excuses seem to be good enough. The idea that I've caused her so much pain makes me sick, the guilt that I carry is what keeps me from pushing, from questioning her about her past. There are so many things that I want to know, but the few glimpses that she's allowed scare me and I'm not sure I can handle the rest. My fear, our fear is what has brought us to this point in our relationship and to move forward we need to face the past, whether we want to or not, this may be our last chance. I may not have raised Sam, but she's my daughter and I have loved her from the moment I felt her kick and there's nothing that I'm not willing to do to fix us, even if it's gonna hurt like hell.**_

_**My hope is that my letters, her letters will not push her away, but make her see how much she means to me, how giving her away was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I can't take being away from her any longer, I want to put my arms around my daughter and hold her until she feels the love that occupies my heart by only three people, her and her sisters. Well here goes nothing, I pray that she gives me a chance.**_

"Mom." Sam's voice cracked as she heard the door open.

"Yeah honey, it's me." Alexis said noticing that her daughter's eyes were as red as she imagined hers were.

"I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean what I said, I was only trying to hurt you." Sam cried as she walked into her mother's arms.

"Yeah baby I know.." Alexis said, taking her daughter by the arm she led her back to the couch.

"Mom..."

"Wait a minute Samantha, I'm not finished. I know that you didn't mean to say it but I think you did mean it. I gave you away, and because of that your life was a nightmare, why wouldn't you blame me for that, hell I still blame me." Tears were now flowing down the face of both women.

Sam closed her eyes and let out a sigh before finally looking at her mother again, deciding that she had to be honest.

"Mom, I don't want to hurt you, but yeah okay sometimes I do still blame you. It's not like I don't know why you did it, I mean I know you had no choice but it just doesn't seem to matter I haven't for the life of me been able to make my heart understand it."

"It's okay Sam."

"Now who's interrupting."

"Sorry go ahead."

"I couldn't make my heart understand until today, why didn't you give me those before?"

"Honestly, I was scared to honey. We got into this routine where one of us would do something hurtful, eventually apologize and it was over. I didn't want to do anything that would upset what we had going on, I just didn't realize that by not talking through our problems that they were only getting worse. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for that baby, I should've known that something as important as our relationship can't just be ignored."

"Maybe you're right, maybe we should make a pact that from now on we will talk about what's bothering us and not try and bury it."

"I agree but Sam there are things that we need to talk about now, things that have already happened, things that for one reason or another we ignored but we're gonna have to work them out or we'll never be able to move past them."

Sam had dropped her head and was looking at the floor now, her mother could see that she didn't really want to dredge up the past but she also knew they had no choice.

"Sam what is it?"

"Uh, it's just I don't want to say something that's going to make you leave me again."

Reaching over Alexis put her hand under the young woman's chin and lifted it up so she was looking her in the eyes, moving as close to her face as she could she reassured her daughter. "Samantha, I'm never leaving you again, there is nothing you could say or do that would make me leave you or stop loving you. When I gave you away that was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I thought I would die, there is no way I could live through it again. For years I did everything I could to stay away from children, everytime I saw a little girl about your age I would wonder what if it was you, then I would picture what your life was like until it became unbearable. I did everything I could do to push it out of my mind, but there was always a part of me missing and when you came back to me you made me whole again. You are a part of me Sam and no matter what happens I will always be here for you, there is nothing you can do to push me away."

"Thank you."

"Look Sam, I can't promise you that this is going to be easy on either of us or that we're not going to get mad but you have to believe me when I tell you it's necessary and I can guarantee you that no matter how mad I get or you get, I'm still going to be here. Can you trust me that I'm not going to leave you again.?"

"I want to, I think so, it's just not that easy when you've been alone as much as I have."

"I'll just have to prove it to you then won't I?"

"Might help, thanks."

"Okay now Sam, I want you to know how sorry I am for everything that happened to you, there is nothing I can say to you that will take it all back, there is no way for me to go back and not give you away. I did it and rightly or wrongly all I can do now is accept it and hope that one day you can forgive me, I want to be a mother to you but it's your call, I can't force you to accept me or to love me but know this I will always love you."

"I do love you and I do see you as my mom, I forgive you mom."

Those words were like music to Alexis's ears as she took her daughter in her arms, allowing the breath that she'd been holding out, and they sat there for what seemed an eternity before pulling away. Wiping the tears from Sam's eyes she prepared to ask something that she feared could make her daughter retreat back into her former self.

"Sam, baby I want to ask you something. Please just think about it before you answer, can you do that for me?"

"Okay sure, what's up?"

"Can you tell me about your childhood, I know it was hard and I know its's painful but I've always wanted to ask."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to upset you, but mostly I was afraid of the answers."

"What do you want to know?"

"Last night when I came into your room, you were talking in your sleep and I'd like to know what it was about."

"I really don't remember what I was dreaming about."

"You were screaming no please don't, I promise I'll be good, I don't like it in there, it's dark. I didn't mean it, I won't do it again." Alexis could see that Sam had stiffined and she took her hand to assure her that whatever it was couldn't hurt her anymore. "It's okay Sam, I'm right here, I'll keep you safe."

"My mother, when I was bad or she just didn't want to deal with me anymore she would lock me in the basement, it was so dark and cold." Sam hugged herself as the chill took her over, realizing it Alexis wrapped her daughter in her arms once again.

"It's okay baby, she can't hurt you anymore, I got you."

"Thanks mom, but it wasn't just punishment that got me sent to the basement, when dad was away running a con which was most of the time, she would bring all these different guys to the house and as soon as I got old enough..." The tears turned into sobs and Alexis held her until she was able to continue with help from her mother.

"What Sam, come on baby, you have to do this, what happened when you were older?"

"She started selling me, she turned the basement into a bedroom so I could entertain her friends as she called it. She said that uh if she had to feed me, clothe me and house me the least I could do is entertain her friends and help put food on the table at the same time."

"Sam I am so sorry, you have to know that none of this was your fault."

"I just felt so dirty all the time but then I just became so numb, I just blocked it all out, I would just lay there and pray for it to be over. I couldn't understand how a mother could do that to her own child, but now I know why, she wasn't my mother."

"How old Sam?" The pain that Alexis felt for her daughter and the anger that Alexis felt toward this woman and the men was overwhelming, it took everything she had not to scream and break down, but that would not help her daughter right now, she would have to wait.

"Um, it started when I was 12, and it ended when I was 15."

"Baby, I know there is nothing I can do to make this go away and I'm sorry I made you relive it but maybe it was time so we can help you move on. I'm so sorry that I let this happen to you love, if I had just kept you, so many things would be different, I should have kept you safe."

"No mom, we've already had that discussion, you did what you had to do, I've forgiven you for it, YOU need to let it go. The choices that my parents made for me were wrong but they were no more your fault then they were mine, I've accepted what happened, I lived through it, not for lack of trying mind you, but I did and I've moved on, it still hurts and yes it still scares me but its over and we'll get over it together."

"Who's the mother here, me or you?"

"I've had a lifetime to deal with it, you've only just found out, I'll never forget it and it's always there but I have something now that I didn't have then. I have you and you have me so we'll help each other."

"I love you so much, do you know that?"

"I love you too." And with that Sam fell into her mother's arms and they cried together over the pain that Sam had withstood and had lived through.

"Uh Sam," Alexis said a new question forming and Sam could see that her mother was worried over something.

"Yeah mom?"

"What did you mean when you said not for lack of trying?"

"Oh I was hoping you didn't catch that, it kind of slipped out. I don't suppose you could pretend you didn't hear that, could you?"

Alexis raised an eyebrow and Sam continued on.

"Yeah I didn't think I was 15 I had had enough, I couldn't take it anymore, after I was finished for the night, she went partying, leaving me alone, so I went into the medicine cabinet, I took all the pills I could find and I lay down on the floor and prepared to die. I woke up in the hospital, it seems my mother had come back in and found me passed out on the floor, she carried me to the hospital, they pumped my stomach, as soon as I woke up and before they could ask any questions she snuck me out."

"What happened when you got home Sam?"

"She beat me, she had this belt and it had a big star shaped design as a buckle, I thought she was going to finish what I had started so I just sat there, disconnected from my body and waited for death, but it never came."

Alexis flashed back to when Sam was shot in the back and she had to help her shower, she noticed a scar on her lower back and she had thought it a birthmark but now she knew. She quickly sat up and turned her daughter around, lifting her shirt she found what she was looking for, tracing it with her fingers she thanked God that her daughter had not succeeded and that she was here with her now.

"What was different that night Sam?" She asked when she composed herself while pulling her daughter close to her.

"It was an exceptionally hard night, one of the men, he got rough and when I cried he decided to shut me up, he stuffed a sock in my mouth and beat me as he raped me, there was nothing I could do to stop him, I couldn't breath, God I just wanted to die. That's all I could think of was dying, I just wanted it all to be over."

"You don't think like that anymore do you? When things get bad, you don't still have those thoughts do you?"

"That was the only time I tried it mom, don't worry I'm not planning on killing myself anytime soon."

"Good, I couldn't live if I lost you again, please remember that and if there's ever a time that you feel as though there's something that you can't handle, I want you to promise me that you'll come to me okay?"

"Yes mom, I promise, you're stuck with me."

"That's good cause I've gotten use to you being around, I kinda like it." Alexis gave Sam a small smile and when her daughter returned it she pulled her into another embrace. "Don't you dare think about leaving me Samantha."

"Yes mom." Sam lay down in her mother's lap and yawned. "Wow, memory lane sure has made me tired."

"Close your eyes baby, I'll be right here when you open them, I promise, we'll talk more later." She said rubbing Sam's head and making shussing sounds to her as her eyelids got heavier.

"Okay just for a little while, I love you mom."

"I love you too, now go to sleep love." Leaning her head down she kissed her firstborn's head and realized she had already started snoring. "That's right baby sleep for now, I'm gonna stay right here and keep the monsters away." While Sam slept her mother held her as she would have a baby and cried for her daughter and for herself.


	5. Chapter 5

This new chapter worries me a little, dialogue bothers me more than journal entries and letters but here goes nothing, let me know what ya think, hope it's okay if it's not can we blame it on the strawberry daiquiri? lol. Thanks to everyone that has responded.

Chapter 11

Sam opened her eyes to find her mother starring out the window, tears streaming down her face. Reaching up she wiped the tears away pulling Alexis from whatever hell she was trapped in.

"You okay mom?"

"Hey you're awake, did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Um, I was just thinking about what we were talking about and I'm..."

"Don't you dare apologize again; I've already told you it's not your fault. I don't blame you anymore and I don't want you blaming yourself got it?"

"Yes ma'am, I got it, you sure are bossy. I don't know where you could've gotten that from." A small smile formed across her face.

"I got no clue, but I've been told I get it from my mother, but hey I could be wrong." Sam said sitting up returning her mother's smile.

"Okay how about that walk around the lake now?"

"Mom, I would really love to but are you seriously trying to starve me here?"

"Oh yeah, we kinda skipped breakfast this morning didn't we?"

"Yeah and then I slept through lunch, so what kind of food you got around here?"

"Lots of microwavable dinners, let's go see what we can find." Alexis said pulling her daughter up off the couch.

"I should have guessed." She laughed allowing herself to be pulled into the kitchen.

Pulling food out of the freezer Alexis turned and saw her daughter starring at her questions in her eyes.

"What is it Sam?"

"Huh oh nothing really, I was just thinking, this was pretty sneaky how'd you manage to pull it off?"

"What you didn't know your mother could be sneaky? Actually it was really simple, I had help, your sisters, Jax, Carly and of course Nikolas. The hardest part was getting you here; you're so stubborn, I wasn't sure if I could talk you into it, you've not really been the most cooperative lately."

"Hence the guilt trip?"

"Yeah sorry about that, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Yeah yeah." Sam laughed rolling her eyes at her mother.

"Ready to eat?"

"Oh yeah."

Later that night walking by the lake.

"This is nice mom, how bout a swim?"

"No Sam I don't."

"Maybe now's a good time to learn, why don't you let me teach you how to swim?"

"No um, I think I'll pass, I haven't had the best luck with water but thank you for offering."

"You haven't had the best luck with men either but that hasn't stopped you from trying." Sam said flashing her biggest smile.

"Very funny Samantha." But Alexis was smiling almost as big as her daughter.

"Joking mom, but seriously can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah honey what it is?"

Sam was quiet for a while before continuing and Alexis had a feeling the easy chit chat was over and things were fixing to get tense.

"I've been wanting to ask but there never seemed like a right time and I don't want to mean to open old wounds but well please don't get mad."

"Spit it out Samantha, that's why we're here because those old wounds need to be opened so we can close them for good, even if it hurts."

"Okay, well when I slept with Ric, you went for months before admitting that you knew, hell that you saw it, you even threw us into situations where we were together, why? Do you have any idea how hard that was for me, I felt horrible for sleeping with him but then I found out you had cancer and all I could think about was how selfish I was. I told Jason that I had never felt more like your daughter and all I wanted was to take the cancer from you and give it to myself, I deserved it, you didn't. Then to find out you used it to control me, my life with Jason, with Ric, who thanks to Carly I didn't kill, how could you do that? Yeah I screwed up but that hurt possibly more than when you told me to get out of your house, that hurt but letting me think that we had finally bonded only to find out it was a lie, that devastated me."

Alexis closed her eyes before finally looking her daughter in the eyes, where she saw the same confusion, pain, resentment come flooding back and she hoped that all the progress they had made earlier wasn't for nothing.

"Come on let's sit down." She went over and sat on the patio overlooking the water.

"Um..." Clearing her throat she though it best to think before speaking because Sam's feelings were not the only ones that came rushing back as she pushed back the hurt and betrayal that threatened to cloud her mind and she decided that the beginning was probably the best place to start.

"First off when I found out I had cancer, I shut down on Ric, more importantly I shut down on you and that I will always regret but all I could see was that my life was over, I was dying and leaving my two babies without a mother. Ric and I well we were already having problems, and you and I we weren't exactly great either. When I came home I snapped, but Samantha there are no excuses good enough for what I said to you that day, another regret I'm afraid I have a lot of those."

"It's been forgotten." Sam grew anxious.

"Please do not lie to me Samantha, I know it still hurts, I heard you."

"What?" The young girl was shocked.

"Another nightmare, you were begging me not to kick you out, you promised not to poison your sister's minds."

"Oh, I've really got to work on not talking in my sleep."

"I'm glad you do, especially if I'm there to hear you, otherwise I might never know what was going on in that head of yours."

"Okay yeah it still hurts, you promised me... promised that I'd always have a home and you kicked me out, how could you?"

"I did promise you that, what can I tell you, I screwed up but please listen to me there were a lot of things that got me to that point. The best way I can answer that question is for us to go back to when you were kidnapped by Manny. I was crazy with worry, I went after the PCPD, screamed that they were lacking and Mac gave it right back to me. In no uncertain terms he let me know that I was the one that gave Manny the chance to do this, then Elizabeth she screamed that it was my fault. Hell could they not see that I knew it was my fault. Every time I closed my eyes there you were telling me over and over that you hoped I or somebody in my family was the first person he came after. You had no idea how right you'd be, I was scared and yeah I made mistakes, I had Jason arrested but all I could see was this maniac killing you because I got him a suspended sentence. I may have been wrong on the way I handled the situation but I honestly thought I was doing what was best for you."

"I know that's what you thought but I could've..."

"I'm not finished."

"Sorry."

"When I put my arms around you at that hospital I was so happy, so grateful that you were alive, but my guilt it never left my side because once again I had failed you. Then you realized that I had indeed locked Jason up, you were so mad, no matter what I said you blamed me too. So me being who I am pushed all that guilt away and blamed Jason, hell why not he was the one that kept putting you in danger, after all I was the mother trying to save my daughter, I had myself convinced that I was completely blameless at this point."

"Uhum, we'd already argued over my controlling ways earlier, and then I found out about the cancer. I was reeling when I walked in just in time to hear you call me a controlling bitch, and I lost it. I said things that I wished I could take back, things that I didn't mean."

"Now who's lying?"

"Excuse me?"

"Look mom, you want me to be honest, shouldn't you be honest here too? You may wish you could take it back but every word you spoke, you meant."

"Maybe I did dammit! I could see my life coming to an end and I wanted nothing more than to see my children grow up and here was my daughter so recklessly putting her life in danger and why? Jason Morgan that's why so yeah I was mad as hell because you had no regard for your own life and I couldn't look at you anymore. But Sam I don't think that way anymore and even then, even though I said hateful things, there was never a time that I didn't love you."

"It was hard to imagine you loved me at that time, all I saw was hatred, so I started drinking, I was pretty far gone when I slept with Ric, not that that's an excuse. I wanted to forget Jason but I was also mad at you, I was determined to be that person that you accused me of being, but I was also mad at you. When Jason broke it off I knew that you had made a deal with him on Manny's death to keep him away from me and then when you told me to get the hell out, I wished I had stayed out because if I had've I wouldn't have made the worse mistake of my life."

"It wasn't much fun to watch either."

"Why didn't you confront us?"

"Kristina and Molly. No matter what you two had done, they still needed you both, if I couldn't be there they needed the rest of their family to count on, people that loved them."

"Did you ever once think about me, what your dying would mean for me?"

"No Samantha I didn't, I couldn't, I saw you sleeping with my husband, I didn't think there was any saving our relationship, you declared you wanted nothing more to do with me so I concentrated on my other children." Alexis hated the pain that was in her daughter's eyes especially knowing that she was the cause of it.

"You know what mom, I don't think I can do this, it's all too much, it just hurts too much. Maybe some things are better left in the past." Sam said jumping up.

"No Samantha," Alexis said grabbing her daughter by the arm before she could storm off. "We are going to do this and we're going to finish this once and for all. It's something we should've already done before now, if we had of been honest and open from the start the rest might never had happened."

"Alright, I just hope we're still standing when it's over."

"I told you I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens, I'm always going to be here for you even if you decide you don't want me around. I love you Samantha, nothing will change that."

"Yeah I know and I love you too." Sam couldn't hide the fear that was always there, the fear that she would lose her mother yet again. This did not escape the careful eye of her mother and she was determined more than ever to get the past out of their way so she could concentrate on making her daughter believe that she would never leave her again."

"Back to it then, I know pushing you and Ric together was wrong and there many different reasons why. A part of me wanted to see if you would fail again, some of it was revenge; I wanted both of you to remember it as much as I did but for the most part I wanted you together for the girls. I won't lie to you, I thought maybe you two would eventually become a couple, a small part of my brain jumped to that conclusion, and for the sake of my children I would've figured out a way to live with that if it had happened, if I survived the cancer."

"Couldn't you see how much I hated him, hated to be in the same room as him?"

"After a while yes I figured that out but I really didn't care. I told you I would do anything to keep my children together."

"But this, my God, you were trying to force me on this man that I hated just so you I could be a surrogate mother to your children. Excuse me while I go drown myself, because it feels a lot like what Evelyn did..." Sam looked as though she were going to be sick and dropped her head between her legs.

Pulling Sam's face back to her, she made her look her in the face even though the younger woman did everything possible to escape.

"No Sam, look at me Samantha, look at me, don't you dare say that. I was wrong, I couldn't see it at the time but there is no denying I was wrong but it is not the same thing and you know it. I was mad at the time and I was sick but I would never do that, I may have used my cancer to my own benefit and I may have tried to push you together but I never would have forced you into anything. I'm sorry if that's the way I made you feel, that was never my intention. As warped as it may have been I just wanted you all to be together, I was desperate, I didn't want my girls separated. I never, God, I never would have done that to you no matter how mad I was at you, please baby, please you have to believe that I would never have forced you to be with Ric."

"Maybe I overreacted mom; the memories from this morning are still so fresh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry sweetie, just please know how much I love you."

"Yeah mom I know."

"Thanks baby." Alexis gathered her daughter close to her and sat there for a while in silence until Sam broke it."

"Have you really forgiven me mom, for sleeping with Ric?"

"Yes, I told you I did and I meant it."

"But why, why me? Why not Ric?"

"You're my daughter and the love I have for you makes it a lot easier but baby Ric was my husband and your step-father. He took advantage of his role in your life, as your step-father, he was suppose to help keep you safe, help protect you and love you because you were a part of our family, yet he used you for his own vendetta against Jason. No matter what your state of mind was at the time he was never suppose to touch you that way not ever. You are my daughter Sam and I could never forgive him for using you, there is no excuse for that ever."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome baby, now it's my turn."

"Ugh, can't it wait; I'm on emotion overload here."

"Just one question, when Manny kidnapped you did he... um.. did he..."

"No mom he didn't touch me, not like that anyway, I expected it, hell he probably would have had Jason not shown up."

"Thank God, I've always worried about that, and you wouldn't talk about it, I always thought that maybe that's why you were so mad at me, because I got him off, that I let him do that to you. I'm sorry that I got him freed Sam."

"You were just doing your job, I know that now, hell I knew it then I just needed someone to blame and you were an easy target. Can we please go in now?"

"Yeah let's go baby, I'm exhausted, I didn't get a nap today." Mother and daughter walked toward the house arm in arm.

"You wanna lie in my lap and take a nap mommy?" Sam asked laughing.

"I just love that smart mouth of yours."

"Thank you mom, I'm gonna shower and get some sleep, see you in the morning."

"Love you baby." Kissing her daughter on the top of the head she headed upstairs to get ready for bed.


	6. Chapter 6

As always thanks for reading, I have to go back to work in a few hours but am hoping I can still have time to work on this often as another idea has popped into my head, if I can get it on paper will be another thing but I really wanna try and finish this one first.

I'm afraid this is gonna be a dark chapter for Alexis as it would for any mother recently finding out that their child had been subjected to the cruely that Sam faced but I promise it will eventually come full circle, I believe this has to happen so her guilt can finally be lifted as in the show she has quiet often apologized for giving Sam up but its always been rushed over. Just remember that sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

Let me know what ya think, oh yeah as I stated before I am new and I am lacking in Alexis history as it is confusing so if anyone can give a quick course on it please do so, I wanna make sure I have my facts straight on a few things before I proceed with my next chapters.

CHAPTER 12

_**Alexis Davis Journal**_

_**I've finally given up on sleep, the emotions of the day have left me drained but my mind refuses to shut down, it keeps replaying it over and over in my head. To know what that woman put my daughter through, God is she wasn't already dead I'd kill her myself. I always know that Sam's life had been hell, I even knew that this was a possibilty but now actually knowing it infuriates me. If only Evelyn was the only one I was mad at I could possibly find a way to deal with it, but the person I'm mostly mad at is myself.**_

_**Sam says she doesn't blame me, and that I souldn't either, but how as a mother am I suppose to think anything else? I should have been there to protect her, to keep her safe and make her feel loved no matter what, the excuses no longer seem good enough. How the hell am I suppose to forget that my daughter, the one I claimed to have loved her whole life, was being raped repeatedly while I was moving on with my life, pushing her as far out of my mind as possible. I'm not sure I can forget or forgive myself for the life that I forced my first born to live.**_

Knock knock.

"Hey mom, I saw your light on under the door, I'm not bothering you am I?" Alexis hadn't heard the knocking or her daughter speak, she was staring intently at the book lying on the table in front of her.

"Mom hey, are you okay?" Sam asked rushing to her mother's side.

"Oh hey sweetie, what's up, I thought you were sleeping." Alexis said avoiding the question.

"I couldn't so I thought I'd go downstairs and get some popcorn, noticed your light on and thought you'd like to join me. What ya doing?" She knew something was up but decided to push the topic, not yet anyway, she knew that the events of the day would weigh heavily on her mother and thought she might need a little time to process it all.

"Oh I'm just you know writing in my journal."

"I didn't know you kept a journal, how long you been doing that?"

"I started when I was 16, not as much over the last few years, but lately I've gotten back in the habit." There was no point in telling her daughter exactly at what point when she was 16, she already knew.

"Ah." Sam smiled mischievously, "An Alexis Davis tell all huh?" She said pretending to read over her mother's shoulders.

"No, no Sam!" Alexis slammed the book shut, scared that her daughter would find out just how much she hated herself at that moment.

"Whoa mom calm down, I was just joking, I wasn't gonna read it. What's going on, are you okay?" She saw fear in her mother's eyes and it caused a chill to run through her body, the only times she saw her mother this afraid was when her children were in danger. "Is it the girls, did something happen?"

"No honey, the girls are fine, they send there love, I'm fine, now what were you saying about popcorn?"

"Forget the popcorn, I'm more concerned about you right now, what's going on?"

"Nothing sweetie, I was just lost in my thoughts, now let's go get that popcorn."

"Sure let's go then." Sam agreed but hesitated at the door before turning around to look her mother in the eyes. "You know what mom I'm going to tell you something that a very wise woman once told me. I know that somethings wrong, I can see it in your eyes, but I will drop it for now but we will discuss this, I promise you that. "With that she turned and left her mother standing and headed toward the kitchen.

"No my love we will not, you will never know, from this point on you will know only my love for you, I promise I will try to make it all up to you." Tears now flowed freely down her face as she vowed that her daughter would never know the truth, the self loathing that would follow her for as long as she lived. Quickly wiping her face she went to join her daughter in the kitchen.

In the kitchen

"Okay let's see yep here it is, looks like someone cleaned out the popcorn aisle, grab us some drinks and I'll meet you in the living room."

"Okay sweetie, you wanna watch a movie?"

"If you want or we could just talk, whatever's fine with me."

Minutes later Sam came through the door with a big bowl of popcorn smiling from ear to ear, she was actually enjoying having her mom all to herself for a whle. However her smile quickly faded as she noticed her mother's pained face, but she had promised her not to push the subject so she cleared her throat to announce her arrival.

"So did you decide against the movie?"

"Yeah, I thought we could just catch up, we've both been so busy, we haven't had much time."

"Well I think we have the necessities, I got the popcorn, you got the drinks, here I am and there you are so whatcha wanna talk about?"

_How can you stand to be in the same room as me?_ Alexis thought but didn't dare ask.

"How are you holding up honey, with Jason being gone, I know it can't be easy."

"Yeah well, I have some days that are good, then there are some days that aren't so good. The not so good days, I throw myself in work, it helps me stay sane, I really miss him you know?"

_I should be the one helping you stay sane, you should be able to come to me your mother should be there for you, why would you come to me though? You know I hate Jason and I'd just tell you your better off with him locked up for good, I've never been much of a mother to you have I?_

"Good, that's good I'm glad you have an outlet but honey don't keep it bottled up, you need to find someone to talk to, don't let it consume you."

"I won't mom plus I have you."

_How can you have such love in your eyes, I really do not deserve it, I think I prefer the hatred._

"Yeah of course honey, you'll always have me." _Why would you want me?_

"Thanks mom, that goes both ways you know."

_My God how can you possibly want to be there for me, I was never there for you when you needed me._

"Thanks baby." She had that far away look in her eyes again.

"How are things going with the court case?"

_Why do you care?_

"Well Warren has been making his presence known, he seems to show up anytime we go out, the Metro Court, Kelly's, heck even if it's just a walk in the park he's there. He always seem to be able to remind me that he's going to take me for everything I'm worth, I don't know I can't say that I wouldn't be doing the same if it were one of you girls."

"Mom don't, you know it was an accident, you were in shock over Kristina, had you been thinking clearly and not concerned for her life you would have handled the situation diferently." Sam reassured her mother and laid her head on her shoulder as she yawned, the heavy toll of the day was finally beginning to catch up with her.

"Yeah I know sweetie, but it doesn't change the fact that he was their son, no matter what he did, he was their son."

"They should have taught him not to hit girls then he'd still be alive, if you ask me, it's their own fault for raising a monster." Once again she yawned and snuggled in closer to her mother.

"Regardless of that point, they will never stop wanting to make me pay for killing their son, for the pain I caused their family." _How can you forgive me for the pain I caused you? _"Honey maybe you should go to bed now."

"No mom, I wanna stay here and talk to you some more."

_Why?_

"Okay baby, come on let's lay down here then, and we'll talk as long as you want okay."

"Thanks mom." She said as she nestled in her mother's arms and closed her eyes for a moment.

"For what?"

"For making me come here, it's been tough but honestly I love having you to myself, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too baby, go to sleep I'll be here in the morning."

"Mom I lied to you when I said I didn't want or need you, I do I'll always need you more importantly I'll always want you even if I say I don't. You know that though, you can see right through me and know when I'm lying, I love you for that for calling me on you for loving me even when I don't deserve it."

"Honey loving you is the easy part, I will never stop loving you no matter what happens or what you do, sometimes I could choke you but loving you I've never stopped."

"I know mom, now go to sleep, can we go on a picnic tomorrow?"

"Yes love if that's what you want, we'll do whatever you wanna do." _I will try to make it up to you I promise, I don't know how you can love me but you do and never again will I leave you._

"Okay but mom, tomorrow we will talk about what's bothering you." With those last words Sam was asleep.

Kissing her eldest daughter on the forehead, she closed her eyes thinking of a way to keep her daughter from asking to many questions.

_Sleep well little one, but as for tomorrow I will keep you to busy to worry about mom, I'll put on my best happy face and you'll only see the mother that you desreve not the one that you got stuck with._


	7. Chapter 7

Thxs to everyone that has hung around, I hope yall like it. To me this was the most emotionally draining chapter I've written yet, but I believe it brings it full circle on the blame game. I think one more chapter after this one will finish it up, I'm hoping to start a new one by next week, kind of a little different but still a Sam/Alexis so we'll see. Let me know what ya think. Kinda worried about this one cause it seems to be the most important chapter yet, I hope it lives up to half of what I wanted it to be, the reunuion they should have had years ago!

Chapter 13

"Wow mom, this has been an awesome day, it's a good thing you thought to have deli meats and cheeses stocked, it would have been hard to take the microwave out there by the lake.."

"Ha ha Samantha, you sure are funny today." Alexis rolled her eyes at her eldest daughter.

"Yeah well you know me, a regular funny guy, always good for a few laughs."

"Seriously honey, have you had a good time?" Alexis asked almost pleading, she was desperate to please Sam. This did not go unnoticed by her daughter who was as observant as her mother.

"Yeah mom its been great, but there's something I want to talk to you about." The young woman drew a deep breath before continuing. "I knew last night just as I know now that something is wrong."

Cutting her daughter off she rushed on. "There's nothing wrong honey."

"Mom stop it." Sam said gently rubbing her hand over her mother's.

"I promise you I'm fine, couldn't be better, I have my beautiful daughter here with me what could possibly be wrong?"

"MOM STOP IT!"

"Stop what Samantha, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Do you not think that I didn't have the same thoughts, the same feelings that your having, I've been there mom, and I'm telling you you've got to let it go. I see it in your eyes, I know that look."

"And what look is that Samantha?"

"The look that says everything is wrong and it's all my fault, please don't try and tell me I'm wrong. The guilt will eat you up if you allow it to, make you bitter and make you do things you regret. The thing is it'll consume you and eventually you'll resent anyone that reminds you of your guilt and mom," Sam reversed the roles as she forced her mother to look her in the eyes, "mom I don't think I could handle you resenting me, not when we've come so far."

"Sam I could never, you're my daughter, I will always love you."

"I know you love me mom, but its possible to love someone and resent them at the same time trust me I know. I'd know, I'd be able to see it everytime you look at me and let me tell you something before I let you do that to yourself or to me I'll leave. I refuse to let you blame yourself, when we both know that you had no choice, it would hurt to much, I'd rather walk out of your life now than be here when you come to the realization that you'd rather I'd never been born at all." Tears threatened to flow from Sam as her mother sat there trying to speak.

"No Sam…"

"Yes mom, it will happen if you don't face it."

Alexis thought she had done a good job hiding her feelings but her daughter seemed to be able to read her like an open book.

"Samantha, did you read my journal?" Alexis asked quickly beginning to lose her temper.

"No, I did no such thing mom, I didn't need to, I lived it and I've come to know you pretty well."

"Please enlighten me Samantha on how you came to this conclussion?"

So she wants to shift into lawyer mode, I can play along. Sam thought to herself.

"Well counselor, the evidence speaks for itself. First as I've already told you it's written all over your face. Second, when I told you, you were devastated and immediately you started apologizing. Third, our discussion about Ric, you sat there and took most of the blame, I was upset so I allowed you to but I was wrong and so were you, the Alexis Davis I know, my mother would have made me accept responsibility for my part in what happened. Fourthly, last night when I came in you're room you tried too hard to direct my attention away from what was wrong and only a few days before we had vowed to be honest with each other, I knew something was off. Lastly and the most damning piece of evidence mom is I'm not the only one that talks in her sleep. You see I woke up, you were having a nightmare, you were begging someone to stop and then you were pleading with me, you kept repeating over and over please Sam, please baby, it's all my fault, I'm so sorry. So counselor I rest my case."

"No Sam, Samantha I will not do this." Alexis was starting to break, Sam could see it, she hated pushing her mother like this but it had to be done.

"Why don't you stop lying and tell me what you're feeling, you said we needed to work our issues out so come on lets work them out. So yes mom you will do this, you have to do this, tell me what you're thinking, what your feeling."

Alexis finally broke, jumping up from the couch she paced the floor back and forth.

"Fine Samantha, you wanna know what I think, I think you're crazy, I look in your eyes and I see it, I see that you actually love me and I have no idea why." By this time Alexis had worked herself up and Sam was getting worried that her mother was gonna have an attack and might need her inhaler, but she had no clue where her purse was.

"Okay mom, how about you calm down and sit down, where's your purse?"

"Forget the damn purse Samantha, even now you're trying to calm me down, why? How in the hell can you sit there and worry about me? I gave you away Samantha, I threw you away, I allowed you to be raised by monsters! Your own mother did this to you! Being locked in a dark basement, being raped in that basement, and this Samantha," Alexis rushed over pulling Sam up, turning her around she pulled her shirt up and began tracing the scar, "remember this, how in the hell can you look at me, much less love me. I did this to you, all this it was me, and oh yeah lets not forget conning men into marrying you! I may not have done it directly but I set it all in motion. All those things and you're still here, but while we're on it lets discuss what happened when you came to Port Charles, ha I really showed you. I got the man that tried to kill you off and allowed him access to you again. Did I stop there? Oh no, I screamed at you, pushed you into labor so I could have your daughter's stem cells, my granddaughter, I stole her stem cells while you were unconscious. Then, I killed the only family you had left, I took your brother, I refused him the serum that could've saved his life. Hell you thought your only way out of the life I gave you was suicide, so please Samantha, please enlighten me, why in the hell would you want me anywhere in your life? All I have ever done was cause you hurt so why, why?" Alexis had finally stopped pacing and now stood by the wall directly facing Samantha, she slid down to the floor where she sat and looked to her daughter for answers.

"Mom you were 16 years old, your life was no picnic either, your own father didn't even acknowledge you, you were raised believing he was your uncle. For godsake your step-mother slit your mother's throat in front of you, what do you imagine she would have done to me? Huh you ever think that maybe as bad as it was it could've been worse if I stayed with you. Lets not forget Stravos, he was as evil as Helena and I can't even imagine what living with those people would be like. That's just what little you've told me, I'm sure there are more horror stories and one day I hope you'll trust me enough to open up about what happened in your childhood. Yes I had a horrible life but so did you and at some point in our lives we have to stop making excuses, accept what happened and regardless of how we were raised we have to take responsibility for the decisions we've made. I am no more responsible for what happened to me as a kid then what happened to you when you were one, and yes when you gave me away you were a kid and you had no control over the decisions made for you. But we are responsible for the decisions we made later and unlike you, I decided to follow in my father's footsteps, I could've done a lot of things different. You on the other hand you worked hard, made a name for yourself and became a respected member of the world."

"Now as for Lila, if you wanna play the blame game, I'd say that was on me. If I had listened to you and let them induce, well my baby might still be alive, that's a decision that I'll have to live with but either way she might have died anyway. There's not a minute that I don't miss her but what if her purpose was to save Kristina's life? We'll never know if she would've lived if I'd only listened but it wasn't your fault."

"Danny was weaker than you, the doctor made that choice not you. Even if you had refused there's no way to know they'd have given it to Danny, there were a lot of people who needed it, and even if they did he may have died anyway. Then where would I have been, I would have lost my brother and possibly my mother as well, I love my brother and miss him but I'm very thankful that I have you."

"When I found out you were my mother, I hated you, there was so much animosity between us that hating you was easy. Just as easy as it was to blame you for all my faults. The more I saw you with Krissy and even later with Molly, I could see how much you loved them and how much you loved being their mother, I couldn't understand why you didn't want to be mine, why you didn't want me. I was so angry, I was your mistake and you had already proved that by giving me away, I wanted to hurt you as much as I had been hurt." Sam closed her eyes and took a breath before finally looking back at her mother praying that she was listening.

"I had all this anger and finally I had someone to take it out on, but even then deep down I wanted so much to be close to you, to understand why you gave me up, I wanted to hate you until that day at PCPD. You remember mom, remember when we were locked in that room, you talked about the baby you gave away, why you gave her up, that was the day that I realized you were as much a victim as I was. I wanted to tell you who I was and I probably would have had that guard not shown up when he did. God listening to you talk made me want to rush in your arms and be baby. I could see how much losing her had impacted your life, had hurt you and I wanted to hold you, I just wanted you to stop hurting. That's what I want now mom, I want you to stop hurting." Giving in she crossed over to where her mother had broke down, sitting beside her she took her hand in her own before continuing.

"Mom, can you please believ me when I tell you that I don't blame you and I love you? Can you let it go mom, can you let this guilt go, can you do that?"

Not speaking she pulled her daughter in her arms, sobbing they both held on to each other for dear life vowing to never let anything come between them again. They stayed that way for what seemed like hours before Alexis pulled her daughter back so she could see the baby that she had lost and the woman that she had found and thought of how much she loved them both.

"Thank you Sam, I do believe you and I know you're right, I will always regret losing you, but I do know why I did it. If Mikkos wasn't already dead, I think I could kill him with my bare hands but whats done is done and there's no changing it, all we can do is move forward. I want to try Sam, I want us to put it all behind us, Ric, Jerry, ALL OF IT, I want that for both our sakes."

"There's nothing stopping us mom, I'm willing."

"I love you Sam!" Alexis cried pulling her first born back to her. "Come here and let me hold my baby."

"I love you too mom, I really really do."

"Hey Sam, I just have one more question, are you still jealous of your sisters?"

Sam tried to pull away from her mother to answer but Alexis refused to let go so she leaned back into her. "I love the girls as much as if they were mine but yes sometimes I am, not of the girls just their relationship with you, I feel like an intruder, like I don't belong, I just can't help it."

"You belong baby, there is no doubt about it, you're mine and I'm never going to let you forget it and I'm never going to let you go again, so don't ever think about leaving me. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Okay love, what do you say we get off this floor, I'm to old for this."

"Come on, let's try doing like normal people, lets sit on the couch, maybe it'll be more comfortable!"

"Has anyone ever told you Samantha that you're a smartass?" Alexis boke out in a grin.

"You know I've heard that before. So mom what you wanna do now?"

"Let's just sit here, is that okay with you, I just wanna sit here and hold you, I'm not ready to let go yet, is that okay with you?"

"That's just fine with me." And it was, she finally had a place where she felt safe and loved, she was where she belonged, with her mother, Sam McCall was home.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay well here's my last chapter! This has been fun and I hope that you all have enjoyed reading it. I hope to start a new one next week, we'll see how it goes. Please review and let me know what ya think. Thanks to everyone who's read it and to those who reviewed, there were several times I added based on the reviews so thanks for helping out. Of course I still don't own General Hospital or the characters, of course if I did we'd have lots more of these mother/daughter interactions.

CHAPTER 14

_**Alexis Davis journal**_

_**It's been a hard and emotional week, but for the first time, I feel as though I have my daughter back. I'm not going to pretend that everything is going to be easy or that Sam and I will agree on everything but I do believe that as long as we are honest with each other that we can handle whatever life throws at us and will come out stronger. **_

_**While I know that my daughter loves me, I've come to realize that inside she is still a scared little girl longing for her mother's love and approval. I suppose that I'll have to continue to reassure her of my love for as long as I live, but that's okay with me, hell I'm even looking forward to it, I have years of "I love yous" that I've missed out on. **_

_**We can finally move on from the hurt that has plagued us, and get to know each other without the fear of pushing the other away. We have finally figured out that sometimes you have to hurt before you can fully love or accept the love offered from others. You have to talk, or in our case scream about your problems, because if not they'll threaten what you hold dear.**_

_**Tomorrow we are going home but Sam has agreed to stay with us at the lakehouse for a few weeks. I've come to enjoy our time together and I think she senses that I'm not ready to let go of our closeness, I'm scared that we'll go back to occasional visits and phone calls. For now I want all my daughters together and for us to grow as a family.**_

_**I guess I should start packing and oh yeah call and have my car brought back.**_

_**Samantha McCall journal**_

_**I'm not real sure what I'm doing here, I've never kept a journal before but mom gave it to me, she said it saved her life when I was taken from her, so I promised her I'd give it a chance.**_

_**When I found out that mom had tricked me to get me here, I was so mad I could've strangled her, but now I'll admit I'm glad I didn't.**_

_**Finally after all these years, I know that my mom loves me, she always did, and more importantly she always will. It's been a long, hard road for us but from now on I plan on being the best daughter that I possibly can. I'm not gonna promise that all my insecurities are gone, but I do believe that as long as I have her on my side that eventually I'll overcome them and one day come to terms with my past and have the healing that I've longed for. **_

_**We're leaving here tomorrow and truthfully I'm not ready to go, I like not having to share her attention with anyone. My hope is that when we return home, we can continue working on our relationship and don't fall back into the same pattern where everything else takes precedence over us. I'm going to stay with her and the girls for a few weeks, I'm not ready to be seperated yet, I still worry that one day she'll realize that it was a mistake to love me and will be gone. I want to be as close to her as I can until I can accept her love for me completely. I know that she loves me, that she's not going anywhere, but I think it'll take time yet for my heart to fully trust it. **_

_**How do I end one of these things? Signing off now. Later. Bye. Oh well forget it, I gotta go pack.**_

Next day, sitting in the driveway at home.

"Well honey, we've made it."

"Yeah we're home."

"Look Sam before we go in, I'm sorry I tricked you but you do realize I'd do it again if need be."

"I'm glad you did, I'm just sorry I gave you such a hard time, thanks."

"I'd do anything for you, you know that right?"

"Yeah I do now. Alright I'm sure there are two little munchkins anxious to see you, so we should probably get in there."

"Let's go."

The girls were watching from the window and as soon as they saw the doors open they were out, rushing to their mother.

"Mom we're so glad you're home, we've missed you." Kristina laughed while helping her mother with her luggage.

"My babies, I've missed you both as well. Come on inside and we'll catch up. Were yall good for Jax and Carly?"

"Yes mom and they are so cool, we went on a trip on their yacht, it was awesome." Molly chimed in snuggling next to her mother on the couch.

"Oh that does sound like fun, Kristina how about you did you enjoy it, anything I need to know?"

"No mom, really I had a great time and I didn't have a nightmare one." She had snuggled into the side not occupied by her baby sister.

"Oh baby, I'm so glad to hear that, wait a minute girls, where's Sam?" Turning she saw her oldest still standing in the doorway watching uncomfortably, quickly she went to her side, putting her hands on her daughter's shoulders she looked in her eyes and saw uncertainty.

"Samantha baby, come on, it's time to join your family this is where you belong, I promise you, you are not an intruder, you… belong." With her arms around the young girls shoulders she guided her back to where her sisters were waiting.

"Hey Sam welcome home! We've missed you too you know." Molly beamed throwing her arms around her older sister.

"Yeah squirt I missed you two brats too but guess what? I'm gonna be staying for a couple of weeks so you'll be sick of me and begging me to move back to my apartment."

"Cool, we're gonna have so much fun, we can go swimming while mom's at work and we can…." Kristina was so excited to have Sam home, she had always admired and loved her older sister.

"Hold on Kristina, don't be making plans without mom, I'm taking an extra couple of weeks off for some quality time with my babies. Sam and I talked about it in the way home and decided we could all use some time as a family, we've had a rough time lately, so whatever plans you make include me as well."

"Alright!" Molly was excited and by the smile on Kristina's face she couldn't be happier.

Sam sat back and watched as her sisters filled her mother in on their week and really saw her family for the first time, they were hers.

"Samantha?" She realized her mother was calling her name with a worried look in her face.

"I'm sorry mom, what were you saying?"

"Samantha are you okay?" Alexis moved and sat in front of her daughter hoping that she wasn't still feeling ousted.

"Yeah mom, I'm fine… actually I'm great! I was just watching yall together and for the first time I felt a part of something, part of a family. I have a family, I have a home, I couldn't be more thrilled."

"Oh Sam," was all Alexis could get out before grabbing her daughter to her, eyes filling with tears. "You'll never know how happy I am to hear you say that, I've been waiting for years to have you all here with me and now I have my family together FINALLY!"


End file.
